How to Captivate Anyone You Meet with Vanessa Van Edwards


Have you ever wanted to become more memorable?

Whether it’s a job interview, networking event, or even a first date, it’s a skill we must have in order to be successful in life.

Most of us have been taught that social skills is a soft skill or rather an art that some people are born with.

Our guest today, Vanessa Van Edwards, has broken down “people skills” into a science-based approach to teach us how to master your social skills including body language, social psychology, and more.

Her website Science of People is a human behavior research lab, where she studies people of all backgrounds on human behavior, psychology, and relationships to answer questions like:

  • What makes someone charismatic?
  • Why didn’t I get the date?
  • Do people like me?
  • How can I win the deal?


In just 30 minutes, Vanessa blew me away with the specifics of her research and data, such as measuring the distance between someone’s shoulder and ears in order to know if they’re a leader. Due to Vanessa’s astounding and unique approach in introducing the importance of PQ (People Quotient) instead of IQ, she has been featured on CNN, Forbes, Wall Street Journal, and has given keynote speeches at MIT and several Fortune 500 companies.

Now let’s bring the lovely Vanessa Van Edwards on to the show!

What You’ll Learn

  • What is the first thing someone looks at when you approach them
  • What is the right amount of eye contact you should have when having a one-on-one conversation with someone
  • How do you know if you’re an alpha male or alpha female
  • Tailoring your conversation to make anyone feel more attracted to you
  • The one skill you need to use to make your conversations more exciting
  • What you should ask when you first meet someone at a networking event (I put Vanessa on the spot!)
  • How you can deal with uncomfortable silence (non-verbally and verbally)
  • Why you shouldn’t try to impress anyone, and what you should do instead

Topics Discussed

  • Alpha personality
  • Eye contact
  • Networking
  • Body language
  • Similarity attraction effect
  • Silence vow

Links Mentioned In The Episode

Other Episodes & Articles You Will Enjoy

Vanessa’s Question to You (& Win her $200 course!)

“What’s the most interesting, sassiest, and juiciest conversation starter you have?”

The winner with the best answer will receive Vanessa’s popular course: Body Language For Entrepreneurs (worth $200!).

Answer below and we’ll pick the winner.

*The winner for this challenge has already been awarded.


  • What gets your pumped up? That was probably my favorite ice breaker indeed. Since I workout my mind went to weights but it could have gone a number of different ways with that conversation starter.
    • Sean Kim
      I would have loved to been asked that question. Great one Kelli! Hope you're well :)
  • Jakob Colombo
    I like to ask, what was the best thing that happened to you this past week? Someone asked me that once and It caught me off guard but it made the convo feel less forced which was awesome, because I'm already pretty awkward.
    • Sean Kim
      We're all a little awkward in our own way Jakob :) Now I'd like to ask you: what was the best thing that happened to you this past week?
      • Jakob Colombo
        Thanks Sean, I would probably have to say going home for the weekend. I'm currently at school and I'm on the constant grind so being able to just go home for even just a few days and chill with the fam was great. Thanks for asking!
        • Sean Kim
          awesome man! sounds like a great time
  • Jonny Dolezal
    "What do you need help with the most at the moment"
    • Sean Kim
      love it! great question
  • What an excellent article. Thanks for reminding us those important messages. I am new to Here comment and I am enjoying catching up of some wonderful information.
  • thanks, good stuff for ALL to remember , being interested and not so interesting , a nice day happens for everyone…..
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